It’s that time of the year, where the local grocery stores and home improvement centers are full of Venus flytraps in the floral section. It’s also the time of the year where purchasers of said flytraps frantically ask “How do I keep my flytrap from dying?” As the 500th post at the Triffid Ranch, here’s my long-tested list of surefire steps to kill a Venus flytrap, along with information on how to keep them alive and happy by NOT DOING THESE THINGS. Feel free to pass this on far and wide, and I look forward to hearing from people whose flytraps emerge from winter dormancy this spring without any issue because they stayed away from these things.

The Texas Triffid Ranch

Some of this series appeared, in much shorter form, in Gothic Beauty magazine.

It’s a lament anybody who raises or sells carnivorous plants hears on a regular basis. Right after the inevitable Little Shop of Horrors jokes, after asking if they carry any man-eating plants, or asking about a plant that could eat the questioner’s ex-spouse, the comment is always the same. “I used to have a Venus flytrap, but it died.”

What happens next varies. Some people state it as if they were relaying the weather, figuring that all plants die and flytraps are just fussy. Some are almost accusatory, as if it’s the seller’s fault that mere mortals can’t keep them alive for more than a few weeks or days. A lot of kids apologize, as if they’re going to get yelled at for the plant dying or for doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Some…

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