Author Archives: Texas Triffid Ranch

Cat Monday

Alfred

Incidentally, no run of Guest Cat appearances would be complete without the notorious Alfred hogging the camera. Incidentally, this was right after he engaged in one of his favorite hobbies: looking straight at me, walking to a bookshelf, and flipping a few books onto the floor. While I was trying to pick them up, he jumped onto his cat perch, nearly dislodging it and killing me in the process. As with Chloe, don’t trust the expression: he’s apparently decided that his perfect breakfast meal is human flesh, and he’s also decided that the state of affairs between leopards and hominins two million years ago is a tradition that needs to be reinstated.

Have A Great Weekend

Commentary? No, not at all.

Cat Monday

Chloe

And another Guest Cat appearance, this time from the famed Chloe In The Wall. Don’t let the thoughtful expression fool you. She’s already figured out 28 ways to kill you, and that’s before you can wake up in the morning.

Have A Great Weekend

Cat Monday

Linda
And with the ending of summer comes time for Guest Cat Monday, featuring the photogenic beasts of my friend Madelyn’s acquaintance. She and the Czarina take off to Houston for a show and Galveston for a good soak in the ocean, and catsitting becomes an adventure in posing.

Have a Great Weekend

My high school senior class song was Phil Collins’s “Take A Look At Me Now,” a perfect summation of how far pop music had degenerated by the middle of the 1980s, and a completely forgettable theme to an equally forgettable movie. It shouldn’t be any surprise that this choice was somehow nominated in numbers from the options given by the student body, and out of the equally vapid choices given for final vote, Phil bloody Collins managed to speak for my graduating class. And for many, the ones who could listen to Frank Zappa’s “Bobby Brown” and ask “So what’s the problem?”, it did absolutely nothing that would threaten their sensibilities.

Now, fun is fun, but enough with flogging that dead horse. By the end of the year, the 1980s will have been dead for a quarter-century, and with them go the number of people desperately trying to bring them back. Me, instead of wasting time at a class reunion this weekend, I’m planning a trip into the future, and my only concession to nostalgia is a reminder of what the future could have been, with the song that would have had a lot more resonance with too many of my classmates. And so it goes.

A Summer Interlude To Break The Monotony

Yes, it’s been a long summer. Yes, it’s been a rather dull summer. Yes, it’s not going to get any better until September, but that’s to be expected. That’s how Texas summers go: we sit back and wait until things start cooling down, and that probably won’t happen until the middle of October this year. Because of this, and a lack of impending shows, one might understandably assume that it’s quiet around the Triffid Ranch. It’s not, but just pretend it is, so the surprise is greater.

Anyway, aside from the number of calls from people assuming that they can use Venus flytraps to control bedbugs (and while a longer post in further detail is necessary, let’s cut to the chase: no carnivorous plant is going to control bedbugs, even if you hold the mattress over the plant and shake it really hard), the main focus around here is on next year. Expect a lot of new plant species, including many never seen at Triffid Ranch shows before, and several interesting experiments in larger containers. Details will follow, but let’s just say that the first Triffid Ranch show of 2015 will be one you won’t want to miss.

And on that subject, that first show is Texas Frightmare Weekend, running May 1 through 3 of 2015. Six years since the first appearance at Frightmare, and this little horror convention that could is turning into quite the monster. So much so that, by way of example, I was able to buy booth space at the 2009 show about two months before the convention started. Over the last couple of years, the vendor space tended to sell out sooner and sooner. This year? Spaces were open on August 1 at 3:00 CST, and they were completely sold out five hours later. This is why I recommend buying your passes now, before they’re all gone, the fire marshal counts heads to make sure that the hotel isn’t too overloaded, and the management at DFW Airport starts kvetching about how convention attendees outnumber people actually flying in and out of Dallas. We should all have such problems, I know, but keep it in mind if you assume that tickets will be available later in the year.

In the meantime, prepare for other developments, such as a radically revamped and redesigned Web site, well in advance of TFW. The rest of 2014 is going to be extremely crazy, so hang on.

Image

Cat Monday

Cadigan

Have a Great Weekend

Okay, okay, I’ve been rethinking the whole class reunion thing, and I just might go after all. I mean, I can behave myself and not demonstrate why I’m not allowed in public during daylight hours, right? Quick: get the fire hose and the wire brushes, because the Saturday Night (May 2027) bath is coming early.

Cat Monday

Fuck You Cat
Those who care for ginger cats already know that most gingers have no fear of man, beast, or god, and when they appear to flee a bad situation, they’re generally only plotting a strategic retreat. Well, that applies to most ginger cats. The neighborhood has a new top feline, nicknamed by the Czarina “F*ckYouCat”. Not that she’d dare say it to his face, but that’s his default expression. Find him basking in the alley when you’re driving in? His expression practically screams “Don’t make me break my foot off in your ass”. Catch him digging in the garden? Watch out, because he’s probably armed. Don’t get me going about his habit of camping on the car hood while I’m using the garage for various projects, because he just dares you to say something about it. He has all of the neighborhood dogs and cats terrorized and pacified, and I fully expect he’ll have the neighborhood armadillos beaten soft by the end of next weekend.

Fuck You Cat

Surprisingly, F*ckYouCat is amenable to photography, so long as you don’t expect him to do much of anything but glare. However, when he’s done, he’s really good about showing what he considers to be his best side.

Fuck You Cat